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[goen]

Yaboku Tomioka

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[notbunaga]

[Before she says anything, she pulls the dish with their food on it a little closer to herself...and away from him, mostly.]

Well, go on then. What've you got so far?

[And then takes a piece of chicken.]

[goen]

[ Wow she said he could help himself? No takebacks... He darts a hand out to the platter to steal another potato wedge. ]

The memories were all over the place, but they all pointed to one thing...

[ He brandishes the wedge next to his face. ]

I was... a god of war!

[ And he holds the pose just in case Aki wants to be super impressed and immediately fall to her knees in worship. Yes!!

Except it sounds stupid and he knows it, which is why he hasn't told anyone yet but her... ]

1/? this is the most pointless comment chain in existence

[notbunaga]

[notbunaga]

[notbunaga]

[just...

slowly...

takes a bite out of her chicken]

NVM THEY WERE ALL GONNA BE BLANK but then dw wouldnt let me spam you

[notbunaga]

[chew...]

[notbunaga]

[swallows]

ok done

[notbunaga]

This chicken's pretty good, huh?

[NOT EVEN GONNA ACKNOWLEDGE IT]

[goen]

You could at least react!!

[ FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE IT ]

[notbunaga]

Fine. It's stupid.

[what were you expecting yato...]

How about next we take a wild swing at mine next and say since I have his sword, I was Nobunaga Oda in a past life?

[goen]

[ ugh ok he'll take that over complete ignoring

Having Nobunaga Oda's sword might imply such a thing, and Aki does have "nobu" in her name he guesses, but?? ]

Trains didn't exist in his time, did they?

[ There's a near-300 year discrepancy... ]

Not to mention he was... a man?

[ ... right...?????? ]

[notbunaga]

That's my point. It's too absurd to consider.

And some random homeless guy isn't going to be a god, either. What lead you to think that, anyway?

[Because he immediately accused her of being an extreme cosplayer...}

[goen]

[ oh she was being facetious

DAMMIT!!! Sometimes you try to be serious and thoughtful and your pal calls you a random homeless guy... ]

I said it myself! I was a "demon-slaying, shinki-wielding warrior god". And someone else seemed to confirm it.

[ No actual demon-slaying or shinki-wielding in his memories though... which does put a chink in the validity of his belief. But... ]

Even if I write that off as me LARPing, something else has been weird. It's like only certain people could see me. I could be smack dab in the middle of the ladies' room and no one would notice.

[notbunaga]

...maybe you were one of those delusional old man hobos.

Do you remember standing on street corners, yelling that the end was nigh? That the government was poisoning the water supply? That coke and pepsi were the same thing?

It'd explain why you were hanging around girls bathrooms without being seen.

[This is unfair to him but at the same time.......

he isn't painting a very good picture of himself.........]

[goen]

I wasn't old!

[ Maybe. Delusional... also maybe. But these are still his dumb hallucinomemories and he won't stand for them being mocked!! No matter how stupid he personally finds them!! ]

If you don't wanna take my memories seriously, then I'll take my leave!

[ and also a bunch of food from that platter if he can get that far ]

[notbunaga]

[Okay...she's gone too far, she gets it.]

Alright, alright. Don't be like that.

[She picks up a piece of chicken, dips it into the sauce and then holds it out to him.]

Stay, alright?

[Be a good dog.]

[goen]

[ ... He stays... and takes the chicken.

And pouts while he nibbles on it. And steals an obvious glance at Aki every so often as if he wants something from her (an explicit apology)

He is actually 12... ]

[notbunaga]

So what was a god doing in a girl's bathroom?

[She isn't apologising like ever.

But she is suspending her disbelief and taking his bullshit seriously, without an accusatory tone of "I bet you were up to no good".

This is her compromise.]

[goen]

[ Oh... she's moving on...

FINE he guesses he will learn to live with this ]

... Advertising! I was leaving my name and number on a wall.

[ This still isn't helping is it... ]

[notbunaga]

[WELL YOU AREN'T MAKING THIS EASY]

...for what?

[goen]

I... was offering to solve all of people's problems?

[ He's vague as fuck because the ad was vague as fuck

sorry nobu he wanted to be taken seriously but there's nothing to take seriously here ]

[notbunaga]

...

Yato, I'm really trying my best here to take this seriously.

But you sound like an extortionist who targets women.

[goen]

... No way! I took work from some little boy too!

[ He was equal opportunity clearly... ]

[notbunaga]

An extortionist who targets women and children, then.

[rip.........]

[goen]

It's fine! I only charged five yen!

[ it just keeps going ]