DAMMIT!!! Sometimes you try to be serious and thoughtful and your pal calls you a random homeless guy... ]
I said it myself! I was a "demon-slaying, shinki-wielding warrior god". And someone else seemed to confirm it.
[ No actual demon-slaying or shinki-wielding in his memories though... which does put a chink in the validity of his belief. But... ]
Even if I write that off as me LARPing, something else has been weird. It's like only certain people could see me. I could be smack dab in the middle of the ladies' room and no one would notice.
...maybe you were one of those delusional old man hobos.
Do you remember standing on street corners, yelling that the end was nigh? That the government was poisoning the water supply? That coke and pepsi were the same thing?
It'd explain why you were hanging around girls bathrooms without being seen.
[This is unfair to him but at the same time.......
he isn't painting a very good picture of himself.........]
[ Maybe. Delusional... also maybe. But these are still his dumb hallucinomemories and he won't stand for them being mocked!! No matter how stupid he personally finds them!! ]
If you don't wanna take my memories seriously, then I'll take my leave!
[ and also a bunch of food from that platter if he can get that far ]
"Hey, what's that? There's some creepy guy following you around? No problem, no problem, just five yen and I'll take care of it, he'll never hassle you again.
"Hey, remember that favour I did for you? I need 50,000 yen now. What? You don't wanna do it? Hey, it'd be a shame if he found out you were the one who sent me to get him, wouldn't it? So you better pay up.
"Remember that money you lent me? It's gone, so I'm gonna need to make it 500,000 yen now. You don't want your neighbours finding out you hired a guy like me to do your dirty work, do you?"
[Do you see the point she is trying to make here.
Also, it's not a half decent bad at matching Yato's tone.
Not perfect, but y'know. Probably more than anyone would expect her to manage, her own stoicness taken into account.]
[ He doesn't sound like that, does he?? Aki had way too much fun with that... Still, she has a point. If you consider the facts seriously, then maybe this is a logical conclusion. He didn't feel particularly malicious in his memories, but then again, he was pretty reluctant to help that kid. So maybe he wasn't a great person either... ]
I guess I could be some petty thug in another life. It wouldn't be a huge leap...
[ He siiighs and leans back in his chair until it tips, the front legs lifting. As crazy as being a god sounds, he'd rather be a little crazy than an extortionist. ]
Wellll, whatever! That's that me and this is this me. It doesn't really matter. If you catch me falling into an extortionist habit someday, you're free to train it out of me.
Look, it's not like she isn't affectionate to some people...she doesn't particularly enjoy it, but she knows there're just some people she can't say no to. Yuuko, for obvious reasons. Anya, because she reminds her too much of her own little sister to deny her.
But Yato? Definitely not one of those people.
So she tries for a few seconds to push herself out of this gross homeless man hug, and then-]
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[what were you expecting yato...]
How about next we take a wild swing at mine next and say since I have his sword, I was Nobunaga Oda in a past life?
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Having Nobunaga Oda's sword might imply such a thing, and Aki does have "nobu" in her name he guesses, but?? ]
Trains didn't exist in his time, did they?
[ There's a near-300 year discrepancy... ]
Not to mention he was... a man?
[ ... right...?????? ]
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And some random homeless guy isn't going to be a god, either. What lead you to think that, anyway?
[Because he immediately accused her of being an extreme cosplayer...}
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DAMMIT!!! Sometimes you try to be serious and thoughtful and your pal calls you a random homeless guy... ]
I said it myself! I was a "demon-slaying, shinki-wielding warrior god". And someone else seemed to confirm it.
[ No actual demon-slaying or shinki-wielding in his memories though... which does put a chink in the validity of his belief. But... ]
Even if I write that off as me LARPing, something else has been weird. It's like only certain people could see me. I could be smack dab in the middle of the ladies' room and no one would notice.
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Do you remember standing on street corners, yelling that the end was nigh? That the government was poisoning the water supply? That coke and pepsi were the same thing?
It'd explain why you were hanging around girls bathrooms without being seen.
[This is unfair to him but at the same time.......
he isn't painting a very good picture of himself.........]
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[ Maybe. Delusional... also maybe. But these are still his dumb hallucinomemories and he won't stand for them being mocked!! No matter how stupid he personally finds them!! ]
If you don't wanna take my memories seriously, then I'll take my leave!
[ and also a bunch of food from that platter if he can get that far ]
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Alright, alright. Don't be like that.
[She picks up a piece of chicken, dips it into the sauce and then holds it out to him.]
Stay, alright?
[Be a good dog.]
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And pouts while he nibbles on it. And steals an obvious glance at Aki every so often as if he wants something from her (an explicit apology)
He is actually 12... ]
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[She isn't apologising like ever.
But she is suspending her disbelief and taking his bullshit seriously, without an accusatory tone of "I bet you were up to no good".
This is her compromise.]
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FINE he guesses he will learn to live with this ]
... Advertising! I was leaving my name and number on a wall.
[ This still isn't helping is it... ]
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...for what?
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[ He's vague as fuck because the ad was vague as fuck
sorry nobu he wanted to be taken seriously but there's nothing to take seriously here ]
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Yato, I'm really trying my best here to take this seriously.
But you sound like an extortionist who targets women.
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[ He was equal opportunity clearly... ]
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[rip.........]
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[ it just keeps going ]
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"Hey, what's that? There's some creepy guy following you around? No problem, no problem, just five yen and I'll take care of it, he'll never hassle you again.
"Hey, remember that favour I did for you? I need 50,000 yen now. What? You don't wanna do it? Hey, it'd be a shame if he found out you were the one who sent me to get him, wouldn't it? So you better pay up.
"Remember that money you lent me? It's gone, so I'm gonna need to make it 500,000 yen now. You don't want your neighbours finding out you hired a guy like me to do your dirty work, do you?"
[Do you see the point she is trying to make here.
Also, it's not a half decent bad at matching Yato's tone.
Not perfect, but y'know. Probably more than anyone would expect her to manage, her own stoicness taken into account.]
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[ He doesn't sound like that, does he?? Aki had way too much fun with that... Still, she has a point. If you consider the facts seriously, then maybe this is a logical conclusion. He didn't feel particularly malicious in his memories, but then again, he was pretty reluctant to help that kid. So maybe he wasn't a great person either... ]
I guess I could be some petty thug in another life. It wouldn't be a huge leap...
[ He siiighs and leans back in his chair until it tips, the front legs lifting. As crazy as being a god sounds, he'd rather be a little crazy than an extortionist. ]
Wellll, whatever! That's that me and this is this me. It doesn't really matter. If you catch me falling into an extortionist habit someday, you're free to train it out of me.
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That's not the type of person Yato is, after all.
[Past lives don't define them, just like he said.
Plus despite everything she has a good opinion of him...]
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Aki! You do care!
[ What is this feeling! So warm and fuzzy! ]
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[Geez...]
I just...know you aren't, that's all. You couldn't be.
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Akiii! These feelings don't lie! These are the palpitations of friendship!
[ And now he's edging around the table. He's!! gonna hug her!! ]
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TO PUSH HIM AWAY.]
What're you doing?
[She doesn't care he's too close dO NOT]
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I'm gonna hug you! It's what friends do!
[ He circles left. Circles right. FEINTS HARD LEFT AND CLOSES BACK IN FROM THE RIGHT FOR A BEAR HUG ]
1/2
Look, it's not like she isn't affectionate to some people...she doesn't particularly enjoy it, but she knows there're just some people she can't say no to. Yuuko, for obvious reasons. Anya, because she reminds her too much of her own little sister to deny her.
But Yato? Definitely not one of those people.
So she tries for a few seconds to push herself out of this gross homeless man hug, and then-]
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