IC inbox

[goen]

Yaboku Tomioka

Hi hi hi hi! You've reached the fast, reliable, and affordable Delivery King Yato! Leave your request and I'll get right back to you!

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[goen]

[ omfg noah ]

Only marginally with an intro like that but shoot

[redarm]

[He's good at this ok]

ok
my friend ryoji is a phantom thief.
he steal big shit- like atlantis and horses and cerulean orbs.

[goen]

Ryoji wouldn't be able to steal a ketchup packet out of McDonald's

[redarm]

thats what he wants you to think.
like how Awesomeguy pretends to be a nerdy office worker or whatever.

[*Superman, of course]

[goen]

Nah

[ Yato knows that Ryoji is also a crazy coffin-wearing death alter-ego and he still doesn't believe Ryoji is capable of conscious wrongdoing... the wimp ]

You know what I heard?
I heard that once he accidentally knocked a scoop of ice cream off a kid's cone and started crying

[redarm]

[sweet jesus is there anyone who doesn't know about ryoji's coffin wearing death alter-ego. WORST KEPT SECRET.

there's a pause]

yeah that does sound like something hed fucking do ok.

[goen]

Right?
If he started stealing things I'd expect him to melt down and start wearing all black with black lipstick and eyeshadow to reflect his new ★ inner darkness ★ LOL

[ slightly less plausible but it still brings him joy to think about ]

[redarm]

[...]

i wear all black.

[YOU CHALLENGING HIS HOT TOPIC FASHION SENSE HOBO BOY??]

but i think ryoji would stab himself in the eye if he tried to put on eyeshadow.

[goen]

Hey I wear lots of black too~ o/*\o

[ somehow missing the point ]

And then he'd just cry some more RIGHT?? o(≧∇≦o)
So are you still sticking with the phantom thief thing

[redarm]

[....yep. as usual he misses the point. Sigh]

yeah.
cause bullshit or not, i only have to tell two more people.
then i'm done

[goen]

Has anyone actually believed it?

[redarm]

hmmm...maybe one guy did?
not like the card said it had to believable, so i dont give a shit.

[goen]

Have you ever initiated a moment of fun in your life

[ Fake rumors are supposed to be fun, not a chore...!! ]

[redarm]

huh?
whats so fun about spreading rumours?

[goen]

I can't believe you even have to ask!
That's like asking
What's so delicious about pancakes??

[redarm]

oy! dont put pancakes fluffy goodness on the same level as rumours!
theyre nowhere near!

shit i just dont see what so fun.
ive had enough shitty rumours spread about me.
why would i wanna do it to others?!

[goen]

It's fun for the same reason April Fools jokes are fun
Everyone loves April Fools!!

[redarm]

...
whatever.

[Does not love April Fools, but he's not explaining that one to this dude so subject change time.]

hey did you fired from the confectionery?

[goen]

[ a wise choice ]

No

[ if only text could capture the petulance of that no ]

The boss just forgot about me a bit.
Why, you miss me? (〃･ω･)

[redarm]

forgot about you?

and no.
just noticed you were gone
but the boss acted like you didnt exist
usually that means someone got their ass fired.

[goen]

My work at the confectionary was always top rate! No way I'd get fired (≧Д≦)
It's just that I became a god and started falling out of people's memories a lot.
Deep god stuff, you wouldn't understand

[redarm]

...a god.

[goen]

Of war

[redarm]

right.
and that makes people forget about you?

[goen]

Yes! Even Minako forgot about me for a while, she can back me up
Except you can remember me for some reason and I'm not really sure why
What's your deal