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[ Her tears wet his hand, and he isn't sure what to say. As happy as he's always tried to make her, he knew this one crime would upset her. Yet he did it anyway, because he was certain -- still is certain -- that it had to be done. He won't apologize for something he isn't sorry about.
But where will he go without Anya? Where would he be right now without Anya? Somewhere worse, undoubtedly, in a place far away. She's made his life better. A fact, indisputable. Tears run down Anya's face. At this moment, he is not making her life better.
You're a taker. I made you that way.
A voice from his memories, but not one he can blame or dispute. A small part of him acknowledges that it might be better if he stays here, removed from society.
But he can't stay here forever, because Anya is on the other side of these bars and he doesn't want to be without her. How selfish can he be? As much as he'll always urge her to move forward for her own sake, he'll always hope just as much that she'll let him stay by her side, however much a burden he is. Her words are a guilty relief he keeps from his face. But he'll push a little more, because he has to be sure she understands. ]
We aren't always going to walk the same path, Anya. You're a good person. I'm not. Don't dispute it -- I know I'm not. I wasn't a good person in that other life either. I share with that version of me what you share with your other self.
But where will he go without Anya? Where would he be right now without Anya? Somewhere worse, undoubtedly, in a place far away. She's made his life better. A fact, indisputable. Tears run down Anya's face. At this moment, he is not making her life better.
You're a taker. I made you that way.
A voice from his memories, but not one he can blame or dispute. A small part of him acknowledges that it might be better if he stays here, removed from society.
But he can't stay here forever, because Anya is on the other side of these bars and he doesn't want to be without her. How selfish can he be? As much as he'll always urge her to move forward for her own sake, he'll always hope just as much that she'll let him stay by her side, however much a burden he is. Her words are a guilty relief he keeps from his face. But he'll push a little more, because he has to be sure she understands. ]
We aren't always going to walk the same path, Anya. You're a good person. I'm not. Don't dispute it -- I know I'm not. I wasn't a good person in that other life either. I share with that version of me what you share with your other self.
[ The dragon dies gently and the music fades out awkwardly. With a deft bit of maneuvering, Yato boosts himself up so he can twist and turn to sit on the dragon's head, facing Kashuu. The dragon won't even rock. It's like Yato doesn't weigh very much or something!! ]
Do you feel like it's becoming part of who you are now? Even if you're not swinging your sword around? Like, I dunno, maybe you had some samurai code of honor or something.
Do you feel like it's becoming part of who you are now? Even if you're not swinging your sword around? Like, I dunno, maybe you had some samurai code of honor or something.
[FANCY THAT HUH teach him your dieting secrets Yato--
But that's a loaded thing to say in quite a few ways, and he's never really been comfortable with conversations that take turns like this. From ridiculous to serious, like they aren't both sitting on a sad little dragon with flaking paint in front of a grocery store full of people who don't even notice that Yato's the only person in the area with blue eyes.
What even is his life.]
Not really. [But that's an active choice, a conscious decision, and his talent for running away from things he doesn't want to deal with.] That guy was that guy and I'm me. I don't go running around fighting battles now, so those feelings don't apply, y'know?
[It's much more clear-cut when it's explained like that. Not at all like the mess of memories and emotions that it actually is.]
But that's a loaded thing to say in quite a few ways, and he's never really been comfortable with conversations that take turns like this. From ridiculous to serious, like they aren't both sitting on a sad little dragon with flaking paint in front of a grocery store full of people who don't even notice that Yato's the only person in the area with blue eyes.
What even is his life.]
Not really. [But that's an active choice, a conscious decision, and his talent for running away from things he doesn't want to deal with.] That guy was that guy and I'm me. I don't go running around fighting battles now, so those feelings don't apply, y'know?
[It's much more clear-cut when it's explained like that. Not at all like the mess of memories and emotions that it actually is.]
You somehow make it insulting!
[NO GRATITUDE HERE only endless judgment. The well never runs dry...]
That's totally random! Are you saying you're a samurai who used to make schoolgirl skirts for cosplayers or something?
[NO GRATITUDE HERE only endless judgment. The well never runs dry...]
That's totally random! Are you saying you're a samurai who used to make schoolgirl skirts for cosplayers or something?
[ Does Yato detect some troubled thoughts? Natural, all things considered. A beat, and then he huffs lightly. ]
Obviously I don't know the guy, but it gets pretty monotonous in here. And I've only been here a week, tops. I bet he'd be happy to get a letter or something.
Obviously I don't know the guy, but it gets pretty monotonous in here. And I've only been here a week, tops. I bet he'd be happy to get a letter or something.
[ Is Anya going through a rebellious stage?! Or was she blinded by cats... He could see her being blinded by cats. ]
If Anya were performing with cats, I'd know about it already! (ﾉ｀Д´)ﾉ
And if she thinks she's performing with cats, there's no way no how!!
Unless it's an ad for cat adoption possibly
If Anya were performing with cats, I'd know about it already! (ﾉ｀Д´)ﾉ
And if she thinks she's performing with cats, there's no way no how!!
Unless it's an ad for cat adoption possibly
[ What a question from the guy who met Yato drunk at Prom... Yato gladly plucks up another thing of beer. He'll save it for when he's feeling especially out of his mind. ]
Much obliged, Gumshoe. I gotta make my fun in here somehow.
[ He withdraws to sit back on his cot, wasting no time in getting cozy again. ]
Arrest some more schmucks for me, would ya? It's real quiet in here and I could use some neighbors.
Much obliged, Gumshoe. I gotta make my fun in here somehow.
[ He withdraws to sit back on his cot, wasting no time in getting cozy again. ]
Arrest some more schmucks for me, would ya? It's real quiet in here and I could use some neighbors.
They're usually drunk when they say things like that.
[Foolishly, he is not rethinking this. Instead, he sighs, willing enough to accept it in the end.]
We've got dancing fruit and colorless trees, among other weird things happening. In the grand scheme of things, you being a god isn't actually unbelievable. So? What can you do?
[Foolishly, he is not rethinking this. Instead, he sighs, willing enough to accept it in the end.]
We've got dancing fruit and colorless trees, among other weird things happening. In the grand scheme of things, you being a god isn't actually unbelievable. So? What can you do?
[ Yato knows instinctively what Yamato means by that god, and he doesn't know if he wants to protest that he isn't that god, that he doesn't want to be that god, or that he might be that god already whether he likes it or not. They're important distinctions, and yet hopelessly futile.
But Yamato is right. Yato won't ever own Aki, no matter how much he does for her. It's common sense. His friends aren't possessions; he doesn't do things for them to put them in his debt. As a human, he always valued agency and individuality in other people. He would never have claimed ownership over another.
As a god, other people are beginning to run together. He can only be so invested in a populace that treats him like air. An old part of him remembers what it was like to burst into someone else's life and tangle himself up in it in an instant; even if he wasn't always wanted, he was at least there to make a mark and carve a space out for himself. Now, the lives of normal people are intangible, cordoned away from him to see and not touch. Just blips on a radar. So foreign, so ill-defined. Is it a wonder that some strangers have little value to him? Is putting down a rotten human really much worse than putting down a rabid dog?
Yato looks at Yamato sitting across from him and sees his turmoil. Even if Yamato's argument is confused and grasping, he wants Yato to be happy with his decisions -- that much is clear. But had Yato not committed this crime, and had that man gone off and done more awful things because of it, Yato would be even unhappier than he is now. This is, he thinks, the happiest he could be with the options given, even if he isn't happy with how Yamato has been affected.
No matter how many moral questions get thrown at him, Yato doesn't feel regret over his actions. It's a fact of the heart. Even if it makes Yamato sad, Yato can't change how he feels. Maybe there's nothing to discuss beyond that. So in answer to all of Yamato's questions and concerns, Yato only says gently: ]
I'll never regret acting in a friend's interest. What's done is done.
[ He stands slowly. ]
Thanks for dropping by, Yasu. I appreciate it.
But Yamato is right. Yato won't ever own Aki, no matter how much he does for her. It's common sense. His friends aren't possessions; he doesn't do things for them to put them in his debt. As a human, he always valued agency and individuality in other people. He would never have claimed ownership over another.
As a god, other people are beginning to run together. He can only be so invested in a populace that treats him like air. An old part of him remembers what it was like to burst into someone else's life and tangle himself up in it in an instant; even if he wasn't always wanted, he was at least there to make a mark and carve a space out for himself. Now, the lives of normal people are intangible, cordoned away from him to see and not touch. Just blips on a radar. So foreign, so ill-defined. Is it a wonder that some strangers have little value to him? Is putting down a rotten human really much worse than putting down a rabid dog?
Yato looks at Yamato sitting across from him and sees his turmoil. Even if Yamato's argument is confused and grasping, he wants Yato to be happy with his decisions -- that much is clear. But had Yato not committed this crime, and had that man gone off and done more awful things because of it, Yato would be even unhappier than he is now. This is, he thinks, the happiest he could be with the options given, even if he isn't happy with how Yamato has been affected.
No matter how many moral questions get thrown at him, Yato doesn't feel regret over his actions. It's a fact of the heart. Even if it makes Yamato sad, Yato can't change how he feels. Maybe there's nothing to discuss beyond that. So in answer to all of Yamato's questions and concerns, Yato only says gently: ]
I'll never regret acting in a friend's interest. What's done is done.
[ He stands slowly. ]
Thanks for dropping by, Yasu. I appreciate it.
[ Don't say a nice thing and then blatantly check the jacket for odor YAMATO. Yato gives him a look. He washed his clothes using the jail's laundry room before he left for good, so it's only... a little smelly... Yato has been crashing into a variety of outdoor things lately, so his clothes smell of dirt, concrete, mysterious undesirables, and of course sweat if Yamato is brave enough to put his nose near the typical sweat zones. ]
So if I could borrow an outfit of yours...
[ He'll change into it straightaway. ]
So if I could borrow an outfit of yours...
[ He'll change into it straightaway. ]
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